8th Anniversary in PV

8 years ago today, I landed on these shores.

~ 8 ~

I can’t believe it’s been 8 full rings already! A whole double loop of years since I left the land of my birth and flew in to this magical port…

Puerto Vallarta. (Its tag line should be “te atrapa”)

How much has One changed since…

From the clueless, 24/7-partying Uni-grad (UPLB, repreZENt!)

  to the lovestruck maiden-goddess

     then Buddha-flying it (ie. butterfly-ing) to Yogini-Mom…

I honor this journey

- the adventures,

challenges,

milestones,

and moments of silence…

ALL OF IT.

8 years!!!

I think it’s about time to go Home, no?

Pay homage

to The Roots, and The Voyage

Close this cycle and start a new chapter...

I’m curious to see where the next bundle will unfold.J (Lead me to new landscapes, Goddess!)

8 years ago today…

The next day we went to see a movie to celebrate Mavis’ 13^th…we saw the Fantastic Four.

Funny…yesterday they showed it on local TV.

It’s as if things are naturally circling back to where they began and now everything is repeating itself, only this time it’s Level 2 (or watered down by the passing of days, as in the case of silverscreen-to-telly for that fateful movie).

So if I were to do this whole Mexican experience all over again…what would I do?

Ok, so maybe not “do it all over again”

Instead…how would I go about it, now that I am in Level 2?

Coincidentally I scheduled a gyne appointment today…she was happy to see how lovely Yoni is looking these days.J (woohoo!!!)

What a great way to celebrate my 8^th year here!
Because come to think of it, much of this journey has been about discovering my sexuality, my passions, my (He)art, my Self…

I got my first job here

Traveled miles with nothing but the clothes on my back

Found Love

Chose Love

Was born a Mother

Yolked it up with Yoga...

So how would I go about it again?
I would honor the Goddess within, every step of the way.

May It Be So.

How do I dedicate myself to all that lives - 12th moon insights

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Twelvth Moon: Crystal Moon of Cooperation (May 30-June 26)                                             Totem animal: Rabbit

1. Ask yourself: “How do I dedicate myself to all that lives?”

2. Blog about Mothering in the New Era

3. Express negative emotions positively – its ok to get pissed/be upset…the trick is to know how to express yourself creatively

4. Enjoy exclusive A&a moments+random family times - A&a specialdate aka bday #3 salubong – (dolphin encounter @ Aquaventuras Park) + (lunch w/ PV family less Jo)

5. Make happen a Rite of Passage in any way you can -  cake+mañanitas+piñata @ Club Koala Care…sat in @ Ananta’s last day at preescolar JJJ \\\

6. For all the parts of you…realize where your growing edge lies

7. Re-ignite the Fire of Desire (to go Higher) in your Soul

8. Rest

9. Share Life experiences with a mentor/friend

10. For all the aspects of you, figure out your next step

11. Be dedicated to your Family

12. Have an official identity – officially Mexican again J (next mission – REFILIPINIZE!!!)

13. Energy flows where attention goes…

14. Know your tribe

15. Foresee the days ahead – planned 2 weeks into the future

16. Allow your Self to be appreciated and loved

17. Be open to radical new ideas of how else you can Serve

18. Honor Thy Father – Fathers Day!!! <3 <3 <3

19. Love your life and let others love you

20. Have the power to change negatively charged emotions

21. Believe It IS happening – received first batch of MMV-PV posters!!!

22. See if more can be done

23. Usher in a New Time

24. Dare to be different

25. Keep on dreaming

26. Keeo on loving – themost synchronistic day of my life thus far J<3\

27. Live, and let live

28. Connect with others that are on the same path

What is Love?

My baby isn't a baby anymore

My baby girl isn't a baby anymore! :S J <3 

Ananta Malaya turned 3 on gregorian june 3rd...and 3, to me, means the official entry to childhood.

In my world I feel its important to mark important milestones in life with a "rite of passage," so I celebrated her in a slightly larger way this year. And while it didn’t happen exactly as I originally pictured it to be...it was the perfect birthday #3. J

Traditionally, in Mexico, when a child turns 3 parents have a (Catholic) mass held in the name of the boy/girl; in some parts of the country it probably would've been a Temazcal. I am sure in other cultures there is some kind of celebration to mark the transition from infancy to childhood as well...maybe a naming ceremony, the first haircut, etc...

For the sake of comparison…moons before, I dreamed up throwing this big party in the garden-front of our apartment building, inviting all the important adults in her life along with her little friends from daycare; maybe even the neighbors we don’t know so well. There was to be games, non-candy giveaways (aka bolos), clowns and acrobatic entertainment…basically, the whole shebang.

Closer to the date, I instead planned for a Dolphin Encounter for Ananta & myself, where at the same time our housemates would be doing the Dolphin Swim Adventure. I imagined the entire PV family would be with us (which is not a lot…that’s just my mom, brother, sister, and nephew), all of us having some fun in the sun at the waterpark afterwards. This was to be on the sun-day before her b-day. I still kept dreaming about having a traditional piñata + choco-flan cake + bolos at daycare on her birthday itself…

Come the day itself though, this is what really happened: it was just Ananta & I that went to the waterpark, and when we were done enjoying the kiddie pool after our dolphin swim, my sister & mom picked us up. Later we all had lunch with my nephew, and Ananta blew the candle of her sprinkle-topped cupcake at my sister’s house. (I <3 family!)

happy 3rd

blow your candle out, baby-cakes!

On the day of her birthday itself, I dressed her up in a long/princessy type dress. In school Ananta blew the #3 candle of a 3-leches cake a friend had bought her. There was also a Tinkerbell piñata and another clown one, filled with candies I would never have thought of buying myself (courtesy of a friend), while the bolos I prepared for the kids were filled with candies I chose myself. The ones for the teachers were specially made star-shaped cookies made by our Russian friend...with a note thanking them for being part of "A&a Village" (re: IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD)

the long, princessy dress

little fairies

–—*** After the piñata at daycare, I sat-in in Ananta's class activities...seeing her in action/observing the teacher + their activities. I played with the kids...sitting on the mat, being silly, letting my daughter paint my face, joking around with the other kids, versus "just watching them" until cake was finally served.

It was a blast! To see how each child is different in the way they interact and participate was an eye-opener…and of course I was proud to see that my Little One is actually one of those kids that follows instructions, and even helps her buddies after she’s done doing her part! (I guess not all have developed the necessary skills to do the activity yet, or some kids just don’t do the activity at all!J)

***

Ananta's bday #3 was a very made-up rite of passage...but it was very meaningful and important to me as I wanted to celebrate her in a way that I hope she will remember when she is older. But more than that...a celebration of 3 years of her life is, for me, is also a commemoration of 3 years of Motherhood.

So...a belated happy birthday to you, Love-Bug...and happy 3rd year of Mothering to me!

Thanks for being part of your village.J

let the Child Inside come out & play

So I am only now writing about the 10^th moon midway through the 11^th…to say I was out of it last month is a bit of an understatement. (Manifestation is still not something I am very good at…airy Sagittarius + lines on my hands + birth chart + good old laziness = lousy manifester. :S)

In the concrete world I didn’t really call anything into being…but as I look back, I somehow managed to churn up some interesting insights from my experience (interesting for me, at least).

I realize that sometimes, manifesting doesn’t necessarily mean coming up with a solid result you can see in the physical realm…sometimes it is just having an understanding of what is apparent/evident/observable. According to Word’s thesaurus, manifest (v.) = establish...so, in a sense, manifestation can be seen as a revelation of what is being demonstrated/expressed in the cycles of your life. There’s no way you can perfect (verb, as in improve/refine etc) what you do if you can’t observe yourself and point out patterns/repeated lessons that need to either be changed/improved/cultivated.

I hope this 1.) makes sense, and 2.) you find something of value here.

Happy gregorian weekend! :)

Tenth Moon: Planetary Moon of Manifestation (April 4-May 1)

Totem animal: Dog

How do I perfect what I do?

1. Refine your intentions

2. Do the things you do everyday differently – this might seem contradictory to the process of perfecting something, but I figure…you’ll never know if there is a better way to do something if you keep on doing the same damn thing everyday!

3. Go beyond visualizing with your mind’s eye & see your dreams slowly start to take place – out of nowhere, decided to enter a store I often pass by, and saw a Buddha statue that will later adorn my future altar/study table.

4. Polarize, be challenged, and accept defeat if needed…but don’t lose the lesson – wrote about this

5. Its better than ok to not do nothing – Did nothing with Ananta, on her 2.11^th … and loved every minute of it <3

6. Do what is asked of you

7. Back others up when they’re falling behind – it’s not always about you and what you have to do…other people exist too, and sometimes they need help

8. Catch up on your pendings

9. Let your hands do the healing (give a loved one a massage & write with a PEN ON PAPER) – it is through the hands that we have a means of accomplishment, molding our dreams into physical form...when we seek to accomplish in service of the Earth and all living beings, every action becomes an act of healing. (Dreamspell reflections - download it here)

10. Keep on dreamin!

11. Have a relationship with yourself – dirty-mindedness aside, touch yourself for once! :)

12. Do something outrageous – go to the circus! (Ananta’s first ever…my first as a Mom!)

13. Reflect on your outrageousness or lack thereof – wrote about this

14. Go all out! – Dance around Life and you can’t go wrong

15. Trust your instincts (never let them take your fangs away)

16. | born free, live free | – don’t live in a cage…or worse, raise your kids in one!

17. Re-occupy your body…tame those thoughts

18. Take a nap (rest is a must)

19. You were born perfect…so let the Child Inside come out & play <3 – saw Toy Story 3 for the first time, then had a playdate with Ananta and all her toys, the soonest after possible :)

20. Wake up and be grateful

21. Let go of what has been holding you back – you can’t get better if you’re always carrying the weight of what went wrong

22. Be there

23. You can fly! – yeeeeaaaars after…saw Walt Disney’s Peter Pan again!

24. Imperfect = I’m perfect

25. Rest & re-connect

26. Be ready for random – spur-of-the-moment malecon-date with Ananta…corn in a cup for dinner, yo!

27. The World IS what I think It Is – everything in your experience started out as some kind of thought…it might not be the exact same thing you imagined it to be…but it is there because you thought it so. (Its kind of like a spin on I think, therefore I am)

28. Catch up with people that matter – sushi date with T

Life Lessons from the Incredible Chinese Circus

Two days ago Ananta and I went to the circus. It was called El Increible Circo Chino, Los Niños de Oro de Beijing. It was her first time to go to the circus as a child, and my first time to go as a Mom…it was fun overall, but it was also an unexpected learning experience…

A&a @ the circus

Considering it was called “The Incredible Chinese Circus,” it was a little bit strange to see a beautiful blonde girl dancing in the air (telas) as the first act of the night… it was amazing all the same. I've seen better performances for free in the park right in front of our home, but I am always awestruck at how graceful those ladies are, despite the amount of strength and force they have to exert to be held up high in the air in such elegant poses…still smiling, toes pointed (or flexed, depending on what they’re doing), every part of their body activated so they can get to the next mid-air asana, in such a fluid manner. 

I don’t think the first time I saw a performance like that was as a child, but I've always been enchanted by the graceful acrobats I've seen as an adult, thinking…I wanna be able to do that someday. Once or twice I got free lessons from ex-neighbors who studied Artes Cirquenses (Circus Arts) in a school run by one of the original members of the Cirque du Soleil, but for one reason or another, I didn't persevere.

I thought I did the whole shebang on circus night…I got us golden-side tickets, we ate cotton candy (another Ananta first) and a big bag of popcorn, got our picture taken, and nearly rode a pony (lil’A chickened out at the last minute though :) ). I didn't actually…because I was just regretting that I didn't buy the picture they took of Ananta & I.
I clearly remember when I double-thought it though. “Should I?”
My brain immediately shouted “No! It’s too expensive,” while my Heart faintly whispered “Do it! Even if it’s not the perfect picture, it will be a beautiful memento.” Now I’m like “I love you…but you’re an idiot. You just missed out on having a printed photograph (versus a digital file, like all the other pictures we now have) of your virgin-visit to the circus as mother&daughter, while Ananta was eating blue cotton candy for the first time, all because it cost $50pesos ($5usd).”

I know, boo me for being a cheap-o…and I thought I went all out. :S

Another thing I was regretting was hesitating on a free invitation to see the circus again.
By the end of it, as Ananta and I were the last ones to leave the sala, the announcer came up to us and asked if we enjoyed the show. I said yes, mentioning Ananta has been to a telas class once. I think I was really just deflecting my own amazement for that act. “O yeah?” He said, “Be my guest next time you want to come back”.
There again, was that moment of hesitation.
Paranoid/ego-centric-me was like “Holy shit, He’s flirting with you!” All I could do was smile shyly, say thank you, and try to leave right away. 

Ananta aero-dancin' it

OMG! Have I really forgotten to Go All Out & Flirt Around Life??? When I was in college I used to think being that carefree and flirting were the fun-est things ever! (after going to gigs and rockin’ out to live music) It was harmless if you wanted it to be, or it could get wild and crazy. It made me feel so alive, and there was this living-on-the-edge feeling that required you to always be confident in every step of the way.

I have an idea about why things have changed since then…but if there’s anything that I got out of kicking myself in the ass for a couple of minutes last night, it’s that you should never forget to Go All Out and Flirt Around Life…it will only go as far as you want it to. (If it’s only a free ticket to the circus, then it’s a free ticket to the circus...if it’s one telas class versus training for real and actually learning, then it’s just the one class and nothing more).

Dance around Life, baby…and you can’t go wrong.

ab ab ab

Yesterday Ananta was asking me about what I liked most about the circus (I said the acrobats), and when I asked her in return, she said the tigers.

There were 3 Sumatran tigers. They were magnificent, but it was a pretty sad act. The medium-sized one was the one that struck me the most; it was the only one that still had it's fangs. It didn't look it was very happy to be in the circus, so while it obeyed the ringmaster’s commands (although not always right away), it did so with a defiant look – mouth wide open, fangs very visible, and fierce feline eyes.
The largest, strangely, was also the most obedient one. That one definitely didn't have his fangs anymore - he opened his mouth a couple of times. Perhaps they took them out to tame him, which was heartbreaking…it was like he had re-signed himself to a life he didn't want to live because he had no fangs anymore. (Well duh, if they ever put him back in the wild, which I doubt, how will he find food without them?!)
I’m not so sure if the smallest one had fangs or not, it never opened its mouth...perhaps because it’s been in the circus since it was a cub so it doesn't really know what it’s like to be wild.

ab ab ab

Sometimes the greatest lessons you learn in life come to you when your heart breaks. I didn't cry a river on circus night, in fact, I had a lot of fun. But while it was amazing to see the tigers so close, it also broke my heart. Witnessing their act reminded me to always trust your instincts (never EVER let them take your fangs away).
One more thing...don't raise your cubs in a cage. I know it’s a jungle out there, but that’s where they should be to learn the ways of this wild, wild world…it’s the only way their tiger spirits shine through their eyes, even if they never get to know the jungle.

Gatu-bella

Once upon a time, in the desert, I Fell In Love. In that journey I learned that Love is free, and Love is respect.
Later, with another, love was cruel and it hurt…but, the same one also gifted me with the kind that is Boundless and Knows No End.
Through the years I've learned that Love is passionate and about compassion.
It is tempered despite temptations.
Love is silent.
And sometimes, love drives you crazy you can’t stand it.

Pushkin, our feline friend, is in-Love.
There is this slender black cat that comes to visit him every night, and eats his food. He patiently waits for that pussy, purring for her, and when she finally comes he licks her chest and playfully bites at her neck.
Poor little guy. What he doesn't know is that she probably does that to all the other cats in the block…let them nip at her in exchange for a bit of their kibble; and she has no plans of staying.

I feel so drawn to that beautiful black cat though.
One night she dropped by and from behind the balcony’s sliding glass door her big, light-yellow eyes shone through…it was like Love at first sight all over again.

Once I caught her inside the house rummaging through the trash. I’m sure that as soon as she heard my first step she was already heading for the door…by the time I got outside she was already running down the same staircase where I first saw Pushkin, hot and hurt, or so he seemed to me.

It started out with a little bit of Water.
I filled up a 5-gallon bottle cap and set it behind him as I rushed out to catch the afternoon bus. By the time I got home that night A&a had already taken him in.
I’ll confess.
The first night I left him outside the front door because I was annoyed he kept on scratching the Yoga mats while I burnt the midnight oil writing in my journal.
The next day he was gone.
When Ananta woke and I told her that the cat had left, she was heartbroken. I felt so bad when I saw that sad look on her face…and then all I could do was wish for it to come back.
A day later he did. And on his first official night home was when I saw the Black One.

Since then I've been back-and-forthing as to how I feel about having a cat.
He’s pretty damn smart…he goes potty in the shower.
(To litterbox or not to litterbox? That is the question)
The toughest one so far is dealing with how I feel about him on the bed. I think he pretty much knows he’s not supposed to hop on, after the million times I've pushed him off…he must've gotten it by now.
Or, for all I know he does anyway when I’m not looking, or when the kids let him…

I’m working on it though.
It’s the first time I've adopted a cat and I’m adapting…one thing I realized from a recent Love-challenge is that Pushkin is a Life after all, no less than the trees or the stars, or my daughter, whom I love without end.

Tonight I left food out for her, that pretty, black pussy that Pushkin purrs for at night.
As I caress his back, he falls asleep waiting; and when she finally comes I do not stir.
I sat silently as he watched her eat. Later, he let her come in…I wonder what other hokey-pokey happens when there are no voyeurs around.

Mmm…
I hope you get a little bit of lovin' tonight, Pushkin. (So at least someone in this house will)
You’re free to choose whom to love and I respect that, because I do, at the end of the day - this one in particular; love you.