Contemplating Angels

So the Mother of the “Doobie-Brothers” that live across the office passed away the other day. That’s what we call the guys from out front that sell Herb and other stuff…thanks to them Sunday mornings smell sweet, making the day coast along like the waves.
God knows if they also consume the rest of the shit they deal; they've been busted by the cops a couple of times - white pick-up with  bright blue and red lights to match, but as far as I know they've never been disrespectful to any of us girls at work.

The day after the First Night of Mourning,  one of them was sitting on the stairs on the street leading up to our building. He was wearing the same black sunglasses he regularly uses to cover his blood-shot, sparkling eyes…that day, I’m sure that no matter how much he smoked there wouldn't have been any glitter in them at all. :(

As I walked up the stairs, bashfully asking for permission to pass, I stammered into asking about the Doña; he nodded and say yes. I asked about the little girl, his 4-year old daughter that his mother takes care off - he said she was fine; so I asked about him, and of course he said he was the same.Then, an awkward milli-second where despite deeply feeling his pain, all that came out of my mouth was “buen día”.

Really?

Good day??
How the hell do you expect him to have a good one on the day his mom dies of cancer???

Nice one, Andy! Whose smoking crack now? :|
Geez.

Upon entering the office, I immediately asked the girls how one expresses their condolences in Mexican street talk. There were a lot of suggested formal expressions, but none of them seemed to convey what I would've wanted to say.
EPIC FAIL!

5 minutes after, still not being able to get over of how such an idiot I was, I clipped a fully bloomed yellow rose from one of the office plants, opened the gate and walked back to where The Neighbor was sitting…

“Perdón, no sabía que decir más temprano. Pero tal vez pueden poner esto en el altar de su Mamá…lo siento mucho.”
(“Excuse me, I didn't know what to say earlier. But maybe you can put this flower on your Mother’s altar...I’m really sorry.”)

He said thank you, and I went back to work.

Nope.

Definitely wasn't the typical neighborly exchange, but it was much more genuine and heartfelt than most of the conversations I've had all week. For a moment, their tabloid-worthy narco-story was a non-issue; all of a sudden the judgement melted away and they were just another family that lost a mother, wife, and grandmother.
So what if they have a not-so-clandestine illegal drug-store operating from home? 

At the end of the day, weren't they just Humans suffering pain and loss?

At least for now, how they make a living is irrelevant.
RIP to the Doña from across the street.

~8~

My first experience of death within the family (that I remember about anyway) was when my grandfather died. Lolo - gramps in Filipino. Jose Molina Alberto.

I don't remember what I was told about what was truly UP, or what was going on…what of Death, After Life. I do remember being SOOO chicken-shit about ghosts though.
(TRUE STORY! Parts of the scariest movies I've ever seen? I have learned to delete from my mind, but only after feeling intense fear of whatever the heck it was in the first place! :Ç)

~8~

I first had to explain death to Ananta at 3.
Our cat Pushkin died. (He was murdered, actually - by the biggest tomcat in the neighborhood. Another TRUE STORY)

I told her Pushkin died, which means we wouldn't be seeing his body any longer. So what will happen is, his body Will Go Back to the Earth, and his Spirit? It will go to the Sky, where Great Spirit Is.

(Great Spirit is The One that gives Life to All - the bushes, bugs, birds, beasts etc…Everything that lives has a Spirit, and it all comes from Hunab Ku, where Great Spirit lives. )

So, we can be sad for a moment, but its more beautiful to remember our departed loved ones**, because that’s when they Live On Forever in our Hearts, and become Angels!

**This is what I love about Mexico! They celebrate the Day of the Dead - celebrate as in fiesta! Food, flowers, mariachi…it could be the whole shebang! Or simply, making a colorful altar with pictures and offerings to Nuestros Muertitos (Our Beloved Dead) - which they did in playschool, thankfully! Because I didn't grow up with that tradition.

~8~

So today It Came To Me that remembering our Ancestors is a practice that I should be inculcating into my Little One…

Ancestors.
AKA Dead Loved Ones.
But also, The Living Elders.

Los Abuel@s
Si Lol@
(AKA Grandma and Gramps)
Including Ti@s. Padrinos. Madrinas. (siiii! lets visit the Madrinas!!!)

Which means, I think that’s what we should be doing for her birthday!!!! The idea is to do something for the first time, so it will be better remembered…

Her 4th.
(Already?! I know! Damn…)

On her 3rd it was dolphins, this year let it be the rest of the animal kingdom! A museum trip! And remembering my Abuelos, her bis-abuelos from my side.
(I´m so grateful that she´s met her bis-abuela Hilda from E´s side!)

Mmm…
It doesn't hurt to dream out loud and ask for help from our Ancestors and Angels, right? ;)

hello 2014

A whole month and 2 days into this year already.
Shit.
That was quick! I only just had the chance to reflect on 2013 two flippin' days ago!
But heck, we all have our own personal rhythm of creation, don't we? So good on you if on January 1st you already knew exactly how the rest of 2014 is going to pan out! And if not, that's cool too. :)

Sometime in the last week Ananta & I had our first ideal day of the year <3
I woke up early (6.30am), hummed, practiced Yoga, made a vegan breakfast before my Little One woke up, had fresh fruit first thing, drew/learned about underwater creatures and their English translations, enjoyed said breakfast, took lil'A's bike out, went to a "new" park for the first time, played on the swing and slide, geared up for daycare/work without drama...all of that and still made it to the office with time to spare. :)
(FYI, the rest of the days prior were somewhat neurotic, slightly stressful, and of the shoot-me-now kind)
BLISS.
Cheers for days just like that (and even better), and to those that are yet to come!!!

So how did I manage such a big turn around?
Because days prior I was bordering depression, feeling defeated, somewhat uncomfortable and pretty much living blah-ly.

To be honest, I didn't really DO anything. Or consciously make an effort to be un-blah anyway.

But after deciding that I didn't really enjoy wallowing in the muck of blah-ness, I decided that whatever floats my boat flows.
So..days prior, since I had a pedicure-spa gift certificate that was expiring soon, I went to get myself pampered. And because I had an e-money Christmas card that I hadn't used yet, I got myself the wine-holder I've been wanting. And since humming makes my Heart sing, that's how I started my day. And so on, and so forth.

Pretty soon I am getting this or something like it tattooed on my right wrist. (Valentines gift to self)

I want it to be a reminder for how I want the rest of my year to be.
Drastic? Maybe so. But it wouldn't hurt to be reminded to Be True to my Self for the rest of my life either.
Wouldn't hurt at all.

How to be Human, taught by a 3-year old

We've got it all wrong…

We don’t have kids so we can teach them how to be “good grown-ups”…we have kids so WE CAN LEARN FROM THEM how to have a Human Experience!

There’s this saying that goes “to err is human, to forgive is divine.”

(1001% sure all of us have made mistakes in the past. Sure hope all of us have forgiven once in our life, at least!)

And while the Human Experience is not exclusively defined by these two occurrences (screwing up + giving pardon)…

That’s right folks! We get to be both!!

Holy + Human.

Divine + Being.

Why is this such a hard concept to live by, and for some people, a tough idea even to just grasp?

Answer:

Most religions indoctrinate the idea that Divinity is outside of you, is something you have to seek/strive for, and that which you only re-unite with after death.

(Did you ever watch Christopher Nolan’s Inception? Remember how the movie said that the most resilient parasite is an idea? TRUE STORY)

So…like a parasite (whose only cure is a better idea), this sick idea of you not-being-God-At-This-Very-Moment has been absorbed by your brain, so that your body acts as such. Your body, of course, creates your thoughts, words and actions…so when you are INFECTED by this virus…this thought/this programming…you are not shining your Brightest Holy-Light Possible as A Being Having a Human Experience.
(You are, in other words, dis-eased. Ill. Driven by something else other than the Real You. And so, on a faster track to death.)

But, what kind of a Being Having A Human Experience are you to begin with?

Answer within an answer:

A Spiritual One.

(note: NOT religious)

Now…if us adults HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA how to be grown-up, how the heck can a little kid possibly know AND be able to teach us How To Be Human?

      (they can't even sit up yet, talk, walk, read, know math, haven’t gone to high school, have a degree or job, haven’t lived independently, have responsibilities, a family etc etc etc…yes, all that mind chatter)

Answer, within an answer, within an answer: (we’re 3 dreams down Now)

Simple:

 Observe (how they react to everything in the World)
Learn (from the mistakes)

Evolve (apply learning)

   and Be (Incarnate Divinity)

That’s how you become a Good Grown-up. J

Recently I have come across lot of satirical videos or articles about parenting and how they present it as a hellish nightmare, but at the same time, a Heavenly Ride.

Again…TRUE STORY.

(Some more experiences more intense than others)

See…THIS is where the challenge lies for most parents. How on Earth do you reconcile the Sacred with the mundane??? How can you see something as Holy when you’re running late, your kids aren't ready for school yet, the traffic is already bad and you’re going to be late for work???

In my experience (aka, reality/dream-time), we try as much as possible not to make those mindsets part of our world. As such, Parenting Consciously is a bit more accessible because even if the same scenarios might be true for me (I’m late, shes not ready, the bus is going to take forever, its hot, etc)…I know…I truly believe…that Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be Alright.

How do I know?
Because at the end of the day, YOUR KIDS STILL LOVE YOU, AND YOU LOVE THEM NO MATTER WHAT.
(admit it…don’t tell me it ain't true!J)

When we forget, and when we disconnect from this Great Reality That Life Continues And If It Doesn't Then Hallelujah, You Get To Go To A Better Place (it’s a win-win situation,really, so I don’t get why we’re always so attached to one particular outcome!), that’s when we snap. At them! We lose our patience, make a face, yell, act like jerks…in short, “screw it all up”.

Here's the thing though…we aren't! (screwing it up)

RIGHT THERE. Right that very moment when you get to choose between Love or Otherwise J, is The Moment we learn.

But, if we ever chose something else other than Love, it’s all good too! Because THAT is when we evolve. It’s those things we do for the first time. Aha Moments. Stark Realizations. Epiphanies.
Quantum Leaps of Courage. Faith. Trust. Surrender. Forgiveness. Compassion. Patience.
BIG things, in baby steps.
ONE Moment at a Time.
(Breathe, Mama…just like when you brought that Light into this World)

For modern humans (versus indigenous people who are still-very-much-connected-to-All), being so distracted from The Truth with all our stuff, gadgets, technology, popularity games, societal power struggles, etc… I feel it’s of even utmost importance that us Moms to model what Being Spirit is. (like Mary, you know! Who do you think raised Jesus???)  It doesn't matter what the name of your Spirit is though. God has many names and many more faces (yeah…like 6 billion strong).

You just have to have faith, show it, and live it.

What I love about Being Mother to a Young Child is that it’s so easy to stay in that level of connection with the Divine! She’s constantly embodying It because she hasn’t been contaminated by the “real world” yet. Just looking into her eyes, seeing her smile, hearing her laughter and songs…even if Time seems to be so short, it’s not difficult to re-attune to that Love Vibration.

  

I honestly think that it’s The Frequency From Which That Motherly Love Comes From that is the saving grace of this world.
Why? Because a child’s first experience of God is It’s Mother’s Love.

Spirit/God can't be described. It can only be experienced. Your kid knows what love is long before she knew what the word for it was. Its your presence that defines it.

And when a child never forgets that they are Divine (through his/her parent’s modeling, ideally reinforced by its education), that’s when they grow up to be the Next Messiah. <3

Just imagine having your own personal Jesus…

Wouldn't that be the greatest gift ever? J