4 years in

4 days ago, 4 years of Motherhood.
<3 <3 <3 <3
Ananta Malaya…how you've grown!!!!

I still remember the day you were born…I always will.
A week past your estimated “due date” (as if you were some kind of scientific paper to be submitted, or a book to be returned), I was still very much pregnant!
But you knew better. In your own time, you came. You were out in 3 pushes…we made a good team!
I reckon the excitement of having watched your first movie with your Papi & I (Avatar) prodded you to come out…you are growing up to be quite the movie-buff just like him!

On your first year of life we celebrated you on the banks of the Nogalito River. A lovely Priestess honored us by officiating your water ceremony. You…our bouncing Buddha-baby, that same day baptized, were surrounded by a Circle of Love and Blessings from me - your Mami, Papi, your beloved family, and godparents. (The after-party was at your padrino Edgar’s pool.)

Year 2 came by quickly…no longer a baby for bidding the bottle and diaper goodbye, and yet, you were still barely a young child! This time we had lunch, cake and some pool-time in a cafe called Co-Exist. Indeed, as we opened our Hearts and Home to another, we learned how to that year.

At 3, once again just you & I, the world changed as words came pouring in. You could already speak your name, recognize 3 tongues, and you delighted in knowing what everything was. You had your first piñata party at day-care (with candy giveaways to match…so much sugar, oh my!), and just you and I…we swam with a dolphin and played at the (water)park.

This year you turned 4.

Four. 
The most basic measure of the natural cycles of time; the defining structure of any natural construct.

You are now complete within yourself, defining your own reality through fantasy and play. You now bring your creative visions into existence by defining the form in which they are to be constructed. Eg: This is how the game goes - the meerkat (whom you lovingly Zorrito, when it is really a suricata) is best friends with the cow (whose name is Vaquita, of course); or in this story, the kitten hatches from an egg and isn't born from the Mommy-Cat.

My gentle, Little Warrior…you are growing up to be bolder day by day! You can discern between choices now, and have certain preferences sometimes different than mine! How lovely it is to see! (At this point, it still is...)

This year, as you decided to go to the waterfall instead of the pirate-boat party I originally planned for (good timing though, because it was cloudy and you had a cough)…I am continually amazed at how things turn out much better than I could have ever imagined them to be if I just follow your lead.

We went to Palo Maria this time around. Walking with a master-teacher of mine from long before you were born, I thanked the Gods once again by honoring your days in the Waters that bring Life.

Hold my hand now, Little One!
   Flesh from my flesh,
      Spirit from the Heavens
   My Living Prayer and Dream…
Lead us back to the garden from which you sprang.

Everyday is a Holi-day

One thing I love about Mexico is that there is always a reason to party/have a long weekend/laze around.J

I started writing this on Cinco de Mayo. From what I gather, in the US it is celebrated quite massively (big parties, barbeques/carne asadas etc). Some people even think its Mexico‘s Independence Day (it’s not)…I’m not entirely sure as I never lived this Gringo-American way of celebrating this day myself, but here in Mexico, 5 de Mayo is simply the day the Mexicans kicked the French in the ass.

Another one that just passed was Labor Day, celebrated almost all over the world on May 1^st. This year it fell on a Thursday (Silio, last day of the Mayan week), but instead they moved the non-working/no-school day to Friday (Dali, first day of the Mayan week). And then there was Saturday (Seli) and Sunday (Gamma), plus 5 de Mayo…so it may have actually been a mega-long weekend and I didn’t even realize it! :S Oh the joys of not using the Gregorian calendar!J

Anyway, my favourite of these last couple of celebratory days was April 30^th, el Día Del Niño - Children’s Day. This is another tradition I didn’t grow up with myself, because while in the Philippines everyday there is also a fiesta somewhere in its 7,109 islands, we don’t necessarily have Araw ng Kabataan. (We probably should though…)

As a Mom, it was so heart-warming to see and experience Día Del Niño celebrated! On this ONE DAY out of the whole year, The Children are so warmly recognized and acknowledged for Who They Are by all the grown-ups around them. Suddenly, everybody else aside from their parents makes it known to them that we are celebrating their loving and happy Child-prEssence Here, Now. It doesn’t matter if they spilled milk on the newly laundered sheets, or that they wrote their name on the mural wall (or tried to, anyway)…

On this day, they know that the whole world loves and accepts them Just The Way They Are. No need for correction, direction, or instruction. Just their smile is enough.

Ananta was so surprised to have been greeted by one of the cabbies that wait in line at the park’s taxi stand!J My heart melted when she looked up to me afterwards, and with her eyes saying “he greeted me, Mom!”

Yes, Love. Today I am not the only one that sees You.

My wish is for everyone that crosses your path to always see the Love from your smile and Light from your eyes, and may you always live in that place of fantasy and dreams, love and wonder, simplicity and contentment.

Every day should be Children’s Day. There would be so much more joy and laughter in the world if it was.

Every day should be Earth Day too (April 22^nd). There would be so much more Peace and Prosperity in The World if it was.

My wish is for Every One on Earth to always remember that this planet is a Living Being (her name is Gaia).

May you, Mama Earth, always be magical and mysterious, nurturing and knowing, evolving and wise.

Ananta.
Gaia.

You mean the world to me.

Tenth Moon: Planetary Moon of Manifestation (April 4-May 1)
Totem animal: Dog

How do I perfect what I do?

1. Keep on doing what you’re doing

2. Honor your Home

3. Spend Time wisely

4. Be Free

5. Make Time for You

6. Gather your strength and inspiration, then create

7. Rest

8. Party! J

9. Be flexible

10. Get excited about plans for the future

11. BE happy, DO what you want/need to/can, HAVE Faith+fun

12. Revel in the Mystery

13. Knock all problems out

14. Reach out

15. Endings mean the possibility of a New Beginning – Good Friday

16. Remember that you are Love, and you are loved

17. Blaze it and praise it – 4.20 + Easter Sunday

18. Hold your ground

19. Always be aware that you are part of Something Bigger – Earth Day (April 22^nd)

20. Be open to suggestions/be open to change

21. Be brave

22. Make it beautiful

23. Make it happen

24. 

25. Do nothing, feel everything

26. 

27. Celebrate the Child Inside – Mexico’s Día del Niño (April 30^th)

28. Work it – Labor Day (May 1^st)

Contemplating Angels

So the Mother of the “Doobie-Brothers” that live across the office passed away the other day. That’s what we call the guys from out front that sell Herb and other stuff…thanks to them Sunday mornings smell sweet, making the day coast along like the waves.
God knows if they also consume the rest of the shit they deal; they've been busted by the cops a couple of times - white pick-up with  bright blue and red lights to match, but as far as I know they've never been disrespectful to any of us girls at work.

The day after the First Night of Mourning,  one of them was sitting on the stairs on the street leading up to our building. He was wearing the same black sunglasses he regularly uses to cover his blood-shot, sparkling eyes…that day, I’m sure that no matter how much he smoked there wouldn't have been any glitter in them at all. :(

As I walked up the stairs, bashfully asking for permission to pass, I stammered into asking about the Doña; he nodded and say yes. I asked about the little girl, his 4-year old daughter that his mother takes care off - he said she was fine; so I asked about him, and of course he said he was the same.Then, an awkward milli-second where despite deeply feeling his pain, all that came out of my mouth was “buen día”.

Really?

Good day??
How the hell do you expect him to have a good one on the day his mom dies of cancer???

Nice one, Andy! Whose smoking crack now? :|
Geez.

Upon entering the office, I immediately asked the girls how one expresses their condolences in Mexican street talk. There were a lot of suggested formal expressions, but none of them seemed to convey what I would've wanted to say.
EPIC FAIL!

5 minutes after, still not being able to get over of how such an idiot I was, I clipped a fully bloomed yellow rose from one of the office plants, opened the gate and walked back to where The Neighbor was sitting…

“Perdón, no sabía que decir más temprano. Pero tal vez pueden poner esto en el altar de su Mamá…lo siento mucho.”
(“Excuse me, I didn't know what to say earlier. But maybe you can put this flower on your Mother’s altar...I’m really sorry.”)

He said thank you, and I went back to work.

Nope.

Definitely wasn't the typical neighborly exchange, but it was much more genuine and heartfelt than most of the conversations I've had all week. For a moment, their tabloid-worthy narco-story was a non-issue; all of a sudden the judgement melted away and they were just another family that lost a mother, wife, and grandmother.
So what if they have a not-so-clandestine illegal drug-store operating from home? 

At the end of the day, weren't they just Humans suffering pain and loss?

At least for now, how they make a living is irrelevant.
RIP to the Doña from across the street.

~8~

My first experience of death within the family (that I remember about anyway) was when my grandfather died. Lolo - gramps in Filipino. Jose Molina Alberto.

I don't remember what I was told about what was truly UP, or what was going on…what of Death, After Life. I do remember being SOOO chicken-shit about ghosts though.
(TRUE STORY! Parts of the scariest movies I've ever seen? I have learned to delete from my mind, but only after feeling intense fear of whatever the heck it was in the first place! :Ç)

~8~

I first had to explain death to Ananta at 3.
Our cat Pushkin died. (He was murdered, actually - by the biggest tomcat in the neighborhood. Another TRUE STORY)

I told her Pushkin died, which means we wouldn't be seeing his body any longer. So what will happen is, his body Will Go Back to the Earth, and his Spirit? It will go to the Sky, where Great Spirit Is.

(Great Spirit is The One that gives Life to All - the bushes, bugs, birds, beasts etc…Everything that lives has a Spirit, and it all comes from Hunab Ku, where Great Spirit lives. )

So, we can be sad for a moment, but its more beautiful to remember our departed loved ones**, because that’s when they Live On Forever in our Hearts, and become Angels!

**This is what I love about Mexico! They celebrate the Day of the Dead - celebrate as in fiesta! Food, flowers, mariachi…it could be the whole shebang! Or simply, making a colorful altar with pictures and offerings to Nuestros Muertitos (Our Beloved Dead) - which they did in playschool, thankfully! Because I didn't grow up with that tradition.

~8~

So today It Came To Me that remembering our Ancestors is a practice that I should be inculcating into my Little One…

Ancestors.
AKA Dead Loved Ones.
But also, The Living Elders.

Los Abuel@s
Si Lol@
(AKA Grandma and Gramps)
Including Ti@s. Padrinos. Madrinas. (siiii! lets visit the Madrinas!!!)

Which means, I think that’s what we should be doing for her birthday!!!! The idea is to do something for the first time, so it will be better remembered…

Her 4th.
(Already?! I know! Damn…)

On her 3rd it was dolphins, this year let it be the rest of the animal kingdom! A museum trip! And remembering my Abuelos, her bis-abuelos from my side.
(I´m so grateful that she´s met her bis-abuela Hilda from E´s side!)

Mmm…
It doesn't hurt to dream out loud and ask for help from our Ancestors and Angels, right? ;)

hello 2014

A whole month and 2 days into this year already.
Shit.
That was quick! I only just had the chance to reflect on 2013 two flippin' days ago!
But heck, we all have our own personal rhythm of creation, don't we? So good on you if on January 1st you already knew exactly how the rest of 2014 is going to pan out! And if not, that's cool too. :)

Sometime in the last week Ananta & I had our first ideal day of the year <3
I woke up early (6.30am), hummed, practiced Yoga, made a vegan breakfast before my Little One woke up, had fresh fruit first thing, drew/learned about underwater creatures and their English translations, enjoyed said breakfast, took lil'A's bike out, went to a "new" park for the first time, played on the swing and slide, geared up for daycare/work without drama...all of that and still made it to the office with time to spare. :)
(FYI, the rest of the days prior were somewhat neurotic, slightly stressful, and of the shoot-me-now kind)
BLISS.
Cheers for days just like that (and even better), and to those that are yet to come!!!

So how did I manage such a big turn around?
Because days prior I was bordering depression, feeling defeated, somewhat uncomfortable and pretty much living blah-ly.

To be honest, I didn't really DO anything. Or consciously make an effort to be un-blah anyway.

But after deciding that I didn't really enjoy wallowing in the muck of blah-ness, I decided that whatever floats my boat flows.
So..days prior, since I had a pedicure-spa gift certificate that was expiring soon, I went to get myself pampered. And because I had an e-money Christmas card that I hadn't used yet, I got myself the wine-holder I've been wanting. And since humming makes my Heart sing, that's how I started my day. And so on, and so forth.

Pretty soon I am getting this or something like it tattooed on my right wrist. (Valentines gift to self)

I want it to be a reminder for how I want the rest of my year to be.
Drastic? Maybe so. But it wouldn't hurt to be reminded to Be True to my Self for the rest of my life either.
Wouldn't hurt at all.

How to be Human, taught by a 3-year old

We've got it all wrong…

We don’t have kids so we can teach them how to be “good grown-ups”…we have kids so WE CAN LEARN FROM THEM how to have a Human Experience!

There’s this saying that goes “to err is human, to forgive is divine.”

(1001% sure all of us have made mistakes in the past. Sure hope all of us have forgiven once in our life, at least!)

And while the Human Experience is not exclusively defined by these two occurrences (screwing up + giving pardon)…

That’s right folks! We get to be both!!

Holy + Human.

Divine + Being.

Why is this such a hard concept to live by, and for some people, a tough idea even to just grasp?

Answer:

Most religions indoctrinate the idea that Divinity is outside of you, is something you have to seek/strive for, and that which you only re-unite with after death.

(Did you ever watch Christopher Nolan’s Inception? Remember how the movie said that the most resilient parasite is an idea? TRUE STORY)

So…like a parasite (whose only cure is a better idea), this sick idea of you not-being-God-At-This-Very-Moment has been absorbed by your brain, so that your body acts as such. Your body, of course, creates your thoughts, words and actions…so when you are INFECTED by this virus…this thought/this programming…you are not shining your Brightest Holy-Light Possible as A Being Having a Human Experience.
(You are, in other words, dis-eased. Ill. Driven by something else other than the Real You. And so, on a faster track to death.)

But, what kind of a Being Having A Human Experience are you to begin with?

Answer within an answer:

A Spiritual One.

(note: NOT religious)

Now…if us adults HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA how to be grown-up, how the heck can a little kid possibly know AND be able to teach us How To Be Human?

      (they can't even sit up yet, talk, walk, read, know math, haven’t gone to high school, have a degree or job, haven’t lived independently, have responsibilities, a family etc etc etc…yes, all that mind chatter)

Answer, within an answer, within an answer: (we’re 3 dreams down Now)

Simple:

 Observe (how they react to everything in the World)
Learn (from the mistakes)

Evolve (apply learning)

   and Be (Incarnate Divinity)

That’s how you become a Good Grown-up. J

Recently I have come across lot of satirical videos or articles about parenting and how they present it as a hellish nightmare, but at the same time, a Heavenly Ride.

Again…TRUE STORY.

(Some more experiences more intense than others)

See…THIS is where the challenge lies for most parents. How on Earth do you reconcile the Sacred with the mundane??? How can you see something as Holy when you’re running late, your kids aren't ready for school yet, the traffic is already bad and you’re going to be late for work???

In my experience (aka, reality/dream-time), we try as much as possible not to make those mindsets part of our world. As such, Parenting Consciously is a bit more accessible because even if the same scenarios might be true for me (I’m late, shes not ready, the bus is going to take forever, its hot, etc)…I know…I truly believe…that Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be Alright.

How do I know?
Because at the end of the day, YOUR KIDS STILL LOVE YOU, AND YOU LOVE THEM NO MATTER WHAT.
(admit it…don’t tell me it ain't true!J)

When we forget, and when we disconnect from this Great Reality That Life Continues And If It Doesn't Then Hallelujah, You Get To Go To A Better Place (it’s a win-win situation,really, so I don’t get why we’re always so attached to one particular outcome!), that’s when we snap. At them! We lose our patience, make a face, yell, act like jerks…in short, “screw it all up”.

Here's the thing though…we aren't! (screwing it up)

RIGHT THERE. Right that very moment when you get to choose between Love or Otherwise J, is The Moment we learn.

But, if we ever chose something else other than Love, it’s all good too! Because THAT is when we evolve. It’s those things we do for the first time. Aha Moments. Stark Realizations. Epiphanies.
Quantum Leaps of Courage. Faith. Trust. Surrender. Forgiveness. Compassion. Patience.
BIG things, in baby steps.
ONE Moment at a Time.
(Breathe, Mama…just like when you brought that Light into this World)

For modern humans (versus indigenous people who are still-very-much-connected-to-All), being so distracted from The Truth with all our stuff, gadgets, technology, popularity games, societal power struggles, etc… I feel it’s of even utmost importance that us Moms to model what Being Spirit is. (like Mary, you know! Who do you think raised Jesus???)  It doesn't matter what the name of your Spirit is though. God has many names and many more faces (yeah…like 6 billion strong).

You just have to have faith, show it, and live it.

What I love about Being Mother to a Young Child is that it’s so easy to stay in that level of connection with the Divine! She’s constantly embodying It because she hasn’t been contaminated by the “real world” yet. Just looking into her eyes, seeing her smile, hearing her laughter and songs…even if Time seems to be so short, it’s not difficult to re-attune to that Love Vibration.

  

I honestly think that it’s The Frequency From Which That Motherly Love Comes From that is the saving grace of this world.
Why? Because a child’s first experience of God is It’s Mother’s Love.

Spirit/God can't be described. It can only be experienced. Your kid knows what love is long before she knew what the word for it was. Its your presence that defines it.

And when a child never forgets that they are Divine (through his/her parent’s modeling, ideally reinforced by its education), that’s when they grow up to be the Next Messiah. <3

Just imagine having your own personal Jesus…

Wouldn't that be the greatest gift ever? J

learning about Sky and Earth, and how plants grow

I’m excited about this moon. :)

I’m not so sure why…but maybe because reflecting on the challenges of the last in a more empowering way (by asking “How can I best serve?” versus looking at said challenges as obstacles/roadblocks) has inspired me to keep on serving…even if admittedly, it is challenging sometimes.

As an update to the last moon…no, I haven’t launched MMV PV yet. :S
It’s all good though! I am getting help in writing an official proposal to the Powers That Be at the Municipal Hall, while I finish the PowerPoint presentation that will go along with it.

As for my Heart of Yoga essay, I am about a third of the way done…so even if I haven't finished writing, all is welll...I am re-reading the parts I remember standing out to me to refresh my memory…so I am seeing things in a new light. I shall start reading the Yoga & Vegetarianism book soon enough though (when essay #1 is done)…it is already here!!! :)

No…no CSC workshop either…I think I have to postpone that one until I actually finish either one of the above-mentioned. Remember: too much going on at the same time never results in anything. :S

The wild-card was about Home-improvement. :) I think I did pretty well in that department! No new furniture etc…just making useful use of the space as we have it now has made me happy + content (having little A’s work area right by the kitchen serves us well in the AMs while I prepare breakfast/snacks/dinner). I love that she gets to do all these artsy/creative/recycle-y activities before going to daycare, while I busy myself with Home-making stuff!

learning about Sky and Earth, and how plants grow (photosynthesis, yo!)...
green thing with red circles is a tree with fruits :)

I still need to improve on my mopping skills though (aka least favorite chore ever) :S

In the meantime, I am feeling highly productive at the office and also creativity-wise...a poem of mine got published here. Yey me! :)

And, since the moon is going to its third quarter and waning (a time for getting clear about what you think + believe, making adjustments as needed)…I shall be doing precisely that.

I believe in Love, yo! <3

Insights on the Third Moon: Electric Moon of Challenge (Sep 20 – Oct 17)

Totem animal: Deer

1. Ask yourself: “How can I best serve?”

2. Pray – Temazcal, yo! <3

3. Balance: | work+play | rest+re-creation | evolution+expansion | – Fall Equinox

4. Love + pamper yourself – salon session :)

5. Recognize your progress, no matter how small

6. Be mindful of your dreams – dreamt about a Medicine Tree

7. Give it your all

8. Rest – took a break from after-job + Home-work activities and slept early :)

9. Appreciate what Life has given you

10. Be present – sweet sun-day afternoon with Lil’A <3 :)

11. Go with The Flow – no-schedule Monday

12. Celebrate your learning, imperfection, triumphs, failures & evolution – last day SBP

13. Put yourself in the shoes of the other, and forgive – especially if you have to deal with it for a while more

14. Indulge – DVD night (saw Inception for the first time)

15. Get turned on

16. If you have to, write yourself to be able to check off your To Do list

17. Right Now, be the person you want to be in the future

18. Get inspired and create! – must’ve created something…just don’t remember what it was! :)

19. Appreciate your peers

20. Be patient and trust that everything is going to be alright – dengue scare

21. Celebrate, even if you’re late – Jo’s birthday :)

22. Pleasure yourself <3

23. Take your time ­– steady saturday with little A

24. Take it easy – happy Sun-day :)

25. Do your Home-work – cleaned house + started essay (finally)

26. Learn from the past – re-read old journals

27. Sleep on major decisions, and meditate on the Moon and its message

28. Get the Warrior mode on!

Urban Shaman-Mom

I was reading a post somewhere on Facebook the other day…and, I honestly don’t remember what the whole thing was about anymore…but what stuck around was a comment on the post asking: “what is an urban-shaman anyway?”

Good question.J

I am under the impression that people think shamans are native/indigenous medicine men/women that heal spaces/people through weird rituals involving strange plants, songs, an invocation of odd deities/the elements/the magic of the unseen etc...

My sound-healer/mentor/Sacred Business coach once said that the word “powwaw” – which is the Narragansett (Native American tribe from Rhode Island) word for medicine man – means someone who has visions, or The One Who Dreams It Into Being.
I like that.J

(Note: "shaman" originally referred to a medicine man from Siberia, but now it applies to medicine people of all cultures.)

I guess when we talk about an "Urban Shaman" what we’re referring to is removing the limit of the shamanism to just the “natives”…because unless you were born in a tribe somewhere in the jungle/mountain that has limited/no contact with modern humanity, nobody is really a "native" anymore. (Although those kind of people still exist as well…and please, God bless them!)
I say...we are all Natives to the Earth. Doesn't matter if you were born in the most modern hospital of the urban jungle, or in a small thatch hut in a rural village high up in the mountains.

In my case...I would call myself an Urban Shaman-Mom…because, I am – a mom, living in a (relatively small) city.

And…what does an Urban Shaman-Mom think/believe/do, you might ask?

Mmm...a bunch of different made-up stuff, that’s what!J

\ I have an altar where I pray to Great Spirit to - out loud, whenever possible. (No pics of Jesus there...just a bunch of rocks, shells, and images that mean something to me. Jesus & I are pals though!J)

\ At home, we do not watch TV. (We have one, but it is only for educational videos/pre-approved cartoons)

\ I light incense whenever I want to give thanks, ask for help/purification/healing.

\ I sing mantra/sweat lodge songs/Soulful modern music (Incubus/Paula Cole/White Swan freebies etc) to inspire/uplift/calm down me + my daughter whenever needed.

\ I practice Yoga/move my body whenever possible, however I feel called to.

\ I follow the 13-moon calendar. (click on the Nature's Calendar tab)

\ I give thanks - daily, infinitely - for the gift of Mothering a Heaven-sent God-ling named Ananta Malaya.

\ I believe in Evolution (the scientific kind), and that as a human Being in This Day and Age, Now we can (WE MUST!) do it Spiritually and Consciously.

\ I bow down to the God/dess in me, and the God/dess in you. (Namaste, yo!)

\ I know that I am connected to the entire Cosmos, and my existence here on Earth is NOT random at all.

\ I try to make everything I do sacred…from showering, working at the office (aka the 6-hour meditation challenge), to cooking meals and reading bedtime stories, etc.

\ I know the Earth is a living being, and every human is just another cell in her glorious Pachamama body.

\ I trust in the Spirit inside my body (3-dimensional spacesuit)… and that this life is The Mother of All Journeys in all my lifetimes combined. (Sometimes part of it is a bad trip, sometimes its psychedelic/mind-blowing/heaven.)

\ I am grateful that medicine exists all over – in plants, the Sunlight, the mist of the Sea, the food you've prayed over, water you've blessed, a long, full breath, a good night’s sleep, a hug…

\  I teach my daughter to be one with Nature by greeting the Sun when she wakes, talking to the plants as we walk by the garden, being kind to animals + bugs, thanking the Water for the Life it brings, etc.

\  I celebrate rites of passage to mark our Time + Evolution - to honor who were were yesterday, and look forward to our Dreams and who we can be tomorrow.

\  I pray with my daughter at night by saying what we're grateful for that day (she always thanks Spirit for the butterflies and cats, sometimes the worms too).
\  I express mySelf fully as much as I can...Now, hoping that when I pour my Heart & Soul out to you, you’ll one day be inspired to make up your own stuff too.J

\ Namaste   \

How do I expand my Joy & Love?

By filling up your self-love gas-tank, so you are happy and have more love to give...that's how.

Yup! I mean...how else does One expand, right? :D
(you eat more, you get bigger...you love yourself more, you have more love to give! same banana)

I engaged in a lot of self-care/self-love this past moon...

I went to the salon, on dates (the Skype & chai type), checked off stuff from my wishlist from LAST YEAR, went to a Yoga class, etc...
Now I know the things I mentioned are probably pretty normal occurrences for some...but I'm a working co-parent (versus single mom) that lives with her daughter in their own apartment, with no yaya/maid, ok?
Not that I am complaining...I LOVE our life!!! But sometimes scheduling in things like going to the salon or getting a massage can get complicated...

Things got even more interesting when Little A left for Papi-land, and even more so when I took a break from work!
You'd think I would pull my hair out not knowing what to do with all that free time...I almost did. :) But I busied myself with work (before I actually went on vaca)...and then when I finally took a much needed respite...I busied myself with my Work in the World. <3

First things first...go to a gig. :D

I didn't even make it to the bar though. (hahaha!) Half a beer in as I walked down the boardwalk, I was already woozy and decided against going alá 24/7-hardcore-party days. Instead, I just sat by the water's edge, listened to the same old cover band, and when I was done with my drink...hit it home. Definitely not what I imagined my live-music-night would look like...but, very fulfilling all the same.

Next, catch up with homework time.

Aside from being a full-time working momma with no nana, I also have this thing for continuing education (currently enrolled in a Sacred Business program, a Conscious Parenting course, plus all other required reading for Yoga, etc etc).

Suddenly having 2 daughters (+ co-parent) around for a week was fun, but it completely changed the daily routine for a week!
So...a little bit of hustle was in order...but, I was still easy on myself. Performance-level was ideal, but no pressure to be perfect. This is how you ace the University of Life.

Lastly, increase oxytocin levels through self-pampering + girl-bonding moments.

I cannot stress enough how VERY IMPORTANT this is!

Oxytocin is a feel-good hormone in both males and females, and basically it is what your body secretes when you have bonding moments with friends/family, or even with just yourself. (Wiki will tell you more)
I am over-the-moon thankful for my girl-time last month...but giving myself the time + space + resources to tend to just me was so very healing!
Some days I did nothing, other days I sweat it out; some nights I had ice-cream for dinner, a couple of times I bought stuff I wanted (without necessarily needing it)...but whatever my Heart desired at that point - I gave it to myself...and I am so So SO soOOo grateful that I could!!!

I am counting the days till Anantita comes back...first because I miss her so, but also because I know days like these won't last forever.

I hope every mom (dad, and non-parents too) gets to have at least of semblance of what I've been living for the past 21 days...even if it's just by taking a 30-minute hot shower, a 5-minute massage, a long, full breath...

May all beings be happy...may all beings be loved...may all beings be free.

~ Namaste ~

Thirteenth Moon: COSMIC MOON OF PRESENCE

(June 27-July 24)          

Totem animal: Turtle

1. Share your expansive thoughts

2. Spread the Love by pampering yourself first – get a rad new do, look great and feel even better :)

3. Be there for a special someone’s big moment – Kuya’s prepa graduation!!!

4. Tell the world what you’re proud of – posted pics of grad night w/ new look on FB

5. Approach old wounds with reverence, and learn/re-learn the lessons from that experience (NO SHAME/DISDAIN)

6. Now is The Moment of power

7. REMINDER: Tat Tvam Asi (You are That)

8. Ask, and you shall receive

9. Value your alone time

10. Even if it hurt a bit, be grateful you’ve reclaimed your Time & Space

11. Catch up with a SSS (Super Soul Sister) – Skype date with Tala

12. Keep on upping oxytocin levels – chai latte date with a Momma Goddess

13. (just because doors were closed right at your nose)…don’t get snotty…get creative! :)

14. Discharge gracefully…or not :S

15. Be, with Family  - E + Citlali arrive <3

16. Do every little thing from the Heart (THAT is service)

17. Let Love in <3

18. Breathe…Respond…Re-create

19. Be who you were born to be – cumple-kin (red planetary skywalker day)

20. To receive Love & Support, love and support

21. Relish Family time – little A left for Gto with E + Lali

22. Know what makes you ~ turn on ~ tune in ~ drop out ~ (and engage it)

23. Sleep like a baby on its birthday

24. Fill up the well before sharing the water – before you give, you must receive

25. Re-connect, circle in

26. Make time for Momma Goddess bonding moments…it opens your Heart to the flow – chai latte date with S…afterwards, saw an abandoned/almost lifeless kitty and brought it home :)

27. Indulge your desires – hot stone massage from 2012 wishlist…check! (finally!!!)

28. Exert an extra effort to be of Service – 2 Yoga classes in 1 day = sore ass + legs (yey me)