Mexico is my Vienna

Daydream delusion

Limousine eyelash

Oh, baby, with your pretty face

Drop a tear in my wine glass

Look at those big eyes

See what you mean to me

Sweetcakes and milk shakes

I am a delusion angel

I'm a fantasy parade

I want you to know what I think

Don't want you to guess anymore

You have no idea where I came from

We have no idea where we're going

Lodged in life

Like branches in the river

Flowing downstream

Caught in the current

I carry you

You'll carry me

That's how it could be

Don't you know me?

Don't you know me by now?

- Poet in the streets of Vienna, Before Sunrise

∞ ∞ ∞

Oh...what a trip to have seen this movie all over again! (saw it back to back last night)

Before Sunrise, circa 1995

I went to Paris when I was 23...10 days on a December.

(It was cold and beautiful)

When I returned to Mexico I broke free from the man's chains and went off to serve the Mother.
And then I went on an introductory trip to the Magic of Life...

Chamela @ 23

After having been purged of every possible piece of baggage I had
   miles of hitch-hiking,
       and days of walking,
   sitting under the Sun-light,
Our paths crossed.

[ CI & I ]

There, deep in the womb of the desert
Walking in powdery paths under the Moon-light,
   We healed each other.
Beside the Fire, as our coffee & cream dreams spiraled into the Sky
I felt our roots penetrate the ground
Deep into the Earth they went,
   underneath the warmth of our hands holding on to one another's vision.

There was no fear of the Sun rising...
Only
A complete surrender to the Moon
   and the moments of our Hearts beating as One.

The next day you continued with your journey
The same was true for me...
But from your world to my world 

     - you wrote!
Your words caressed my seeking Soul
   and stirred in me a longing so deep,
that 3 moons in...

With the blessing of Angels, Wizards and the Songs of the Sea
   we drew spirals in the sand of Destiny's garden
        ~ Blessed Union of Souls ~

What happened next is history
What will happen later is a mystery
Lets keep on writing this story...
Dance with me.

How do I expand my Joy & Love?

By filling up your self-love gas-tank, so you are happy and have more love to give...that's how.

Yup! I mean...how else does One expand, right? :D
(you eat more, you get bigger...you love yourself more, you have more love to give! same banana)

I engaged in a lot of self-care/self-love this past moon...

I went to the salon, on dates (the Skype & chai type), checked off stuff from my wishlist from LAST YEAR, went to a Yoga class, etc...
Now I know the things I mentioned are probably pretty normal occurrences for some...but I'm a working co-parent (versus single mom) that lives with her daughter in their own apartment, with no yaya/maid, ok?
Not that I am complaining...I LOVE our life!!! But sometimes scheduling in things like going to the salon or getting a massage can get complicated...

Things got even more interesting when Little A left for Papi-land, and even more so when I took a break from work!
You'd think I would pull my hair out not knowing what to do with all that free time...I almost did. :) But I busied myself with work (before I actually went on vaca)...and then when I finally took a much needed respite...I busied myself with my Work in the World. <3

First things first...go to a gig. :D

I didn't even make it to the bar though. (hahaha!) Half a beer in as I walked down the boardwalk, I was already woozy and decided against going alá 24/7-hardcore-party days. Instead, I just sat by the water's edge, listened to the same old cover band, and when I was done with my drink...hit it home. Definitely not what I imagined my live-music-night would look like...but, very fulfilling all the same.

Next, catch up with homework time.

Aside from being a full-time working momma with no nana, I also have this thing for continuing education (currently enrolled in a Sacred Business program, a Conscious Parenting course, plus all other required reading for Yoga, etc etc).

Suddenly having 2 daughters (+ co-parent) around for a week was fun, but it completely changed the daily routine for a week!
So...a little bit of hustle was in order...but, I was still easy on myself. Performance-level was ideal, but no pressure to be perfect. This is how you ace the University of Life.

Lastly, increase oxytocin levels through self-pampering + girl-bonding moments.

I cannot stress enough how VERY IMPORTANT this is!

Oxytocin is a feel-good hormone in both males and females, and basically it is what your body secretes when you have bonding moments with friends/family, or even with just yourself. (Wiki will tell you more)
I am over-the-moon thankful for my girl-time last month...but giving myself the time + space + resources to tend to just me was so very healing!
Some days I did nothing, other days I sweat it out; some nights I had ice-cream for dinner, a couple of times I bought stuff I wanted (without necessarily needing it)...but whatever my Heart desired at that point - I gave it to myself...and I am so So SO soOOo grateful that I could!!!

I am counting the days till Anantita comes back...first because I miss her so, but also because I know days like these won't last forever.

I hope every mom (dad, and non-parents too) gets to have at least of semblance of what I've been living for the past 21 days...even if it's just by taking a 30-minute hot shower, a 5-minute massage, a long, full breath...

May all beings be happy...may all beings be loved...may all beings be free.

~ Namaste ~

Thirteenth Moon: COSMIC MOON OF PRESENCE

(June 27-July 24)          

Totem animal: Turtle

1. Share your expansive thoughts

2. Spread the Love by pampering yourself first – get a rad new do, look great and feel even better :)

3. Be there for a special someone’s big moment – Kuya’s prepa graduation!!!

4. Tell the world what you’re proud of – posted pics of grad night w/ new look on FB

5. Approach old wounds with reverence, and learn/re-learn the lessons from that experience (NO SHAME/DISDAIN)

6. Now is The Moment of power

7. REMINDER: Tat Tvam Asi (You are That)

8. Ask, and you shall receive

9. Value your alone time

10. Even if it hurt a bit, be grateful you’ve reclaimed your Time & Space

11. Catch up with a SSS (Super Soul Sister) – Skype date with Tala

12. Keep on upping oxytocin levels – chai latte date with a Momma Goddess

13. (just because doors were closed right at your nose)…don’t get snotty…get creative! :)

14. Discharge gracefully…or not :S

15. Be, with Family  - E + Citlali arrive <3

16. Do every little thing from the Heart (THAT is service)

17. Let Love in <3

18. Breathe…Respond…Re-create

19. Be who you were born to be – cumple-kin (red planetary skywalker day)

20. To receive Love & Support, love and support

21. Relish Family time – little A left for Gto with E + Lali

22. Know what makes you ~ turn on ~ tune in ~ drop out ~ (and engage it)

23. Sleep like a baby on its birthday

24. Fill up the well before sharing the water – before you give, you must receive

25. Re-connect, circle in

26. Make time for Momma Goddess bonding moments…it opens your Heart to the flow – chai latte date with S…afterwards, saw an abandoned/almost lifeless kitty and brought it home :)

27. Indulge your desires – hot stone massage from 2012 wishlist…check! (finally!!!)

28. Exert an extra effort to be of Service – 2 Yoga classes in 1 day = sore ass + legs (yey me)

8th Anniversary in PV

8 years ago today, I landed on these shores.

~ 8 ~

I can’t believe it’s been 8 full rings already! A whole double loop of years since I left the land of my birth and flew in to this magical port…

Puerto Vallarta. (Its tag line should be “te atrapa”)

How much has One changed since…

From the clueless, 24/7-partying Uni-grad (UPLB, repreZENt!)

  to the lovestruck maiden-goddess

     then Buddha-flying it (ie. butterfly-ing) to Yogini-Mom…

I honor this journey

- the adventures,

challenges,

milestones,

and moments of silence…

ALL OF IT.

8 years!!!

I think it’s about time to go Home, no?

Pay homage

to The Roots, and The Voyage

Close this cycle and start a new chapter...

I’m curious to see where the next bundle will unfold.J (Lead me to new landscapes, Goddess!)

8 years ago today…

The next day we went to see a movie to celebrate Mavis’ 13^th…we saw the Fantastic Four.

Funny…yesterday they showed it on local TV.

It’s as if things are naturally circling back to where they began and now everything is repeating itself, only this time it’s Level 2 (or watered down by the passing of days, as in the case of silverscreen-to-telly for that fateful movie).

So if I were to do this whole Mexican experience all over again…what would I do?

Ok, so maybe not “do it all over again”

Instead…how would I go about it, now that I am in Level 2?

Coincidentally I scheduled a gyne appointment today…she was happy to see how lovely Yoni is looking these days.J (woohoo!!!)

What a great way to celebrate my 8^th year here!
Because come to think of it, much of this journey has been about discovering my sexuality, my passions, my (He)art, my Self…

I got my first job here

Traveled miles with nothing but the clothes on my back

Found Love

Chose Love

Was born a Mother

Yolked it up with Yoga...

So how would I go about it again?
I would honor the Goddess within, every step of the way.

May It Be So.

How do I dedicate myself to all that lives - 12th moon insights

\

Twelvth Moon: Crystal Moon of Cooperation (May 30-June 26)                                             Totem animal: Rabbit

1. Ask yourself: “How do I dedicate myself to all that lives?”

2. Blog about Mothering in the New Era

3. Express negative emotions positively – its ok to get pissed/be upset…the trick is to know how to express yourself creatively

4. Enjoy exclusive A&a moments+random family times - A&a specialdate aka bday #3 salubong – (dolphin encounter @ Aquaventuras Park) + (lunch w/ PV family less Jo)

5. Make happen a Rite of Passage in any way you can -  cake+mañanitas+piñata @ Club Koala Care…sat in @ Ananta’s last day at preescolar JJJ \\\

6. For all the parts of you…realize where your growing edge lies

7. Re-ignite the Fire of Desire (to go Higher) in your Soul

8. Rest

9. Share Life experiences with a mentor/friend

10. For all the aspects of you, figure out your next step

11. Be dedicated to your Family

12. Have an official identity – officially Mexican again J (next mission – REFILIPINIZE!!!)

13. Energy flows where attention goes…

14. Know your tribe

15. Foresee the days ahead – planned 2 weeks into the future

16. Allow your Self to be appreciated and loved

17. Be open to radical new ideas of how else you can Serve

18. Honor Thy Father – Fathers Day!!! <3 <3 <3

19. Love your life and let others love you

20. Have the power to change negatively charged emotions

21. Believe It IS happening – received first batch of MMV-PV posters!!!

22. See if more can be done

23. Usher in a New Time

24. Dare to be different

25. Keep on dreaming

26. Keeo on loving – themost synchronistic day of my life thus far J<3\

27. Live, and let live

28. Connect with others that are on the same path

What is Love?

My baby isn't a baby anymore

My baby girl isn't a baby anymore! :S J <3 

Ananta Malaya turned 3 on gregorian june 3rd...and 3, to me, means the official entry to childhood.

In my world I feel its important to mark important milestones in life with a "rite of passage," so I celebrated her in a slightly larger way this year. And while it didn’t happen exactly as I originally pictured it to be...it was the perfect birthday #3. J

Traditionally, in Mexico, when a child turns 3 parents have a (Catholic) mass held in the name of the boy/girl; in some parts of the country it probably would've been a Temazcal. I am sure in other cultures there is some kind of celebration to mark the transition from infancy to childhood as well...maybe a naming ceremony, the first haircut, etc...

For the sake of comparison…moons before, I dreamed up throwing this big party in the garden-front of our apartment building, inviting all the important adults in her life along with her little friends from daycare; maybe even the neighbors we don’t know so well. There was to be games, non-candy giveaways (aka bolos), clowns and acrobatic entertainment…basically, the whole shebang.

Closer to the date, I instead planned for a Dolphin Encounter for Ananta & myself, where at the same time our housemates would be doing the Dolphin Swim Adventure. I imagined the entire PV family would be with us (which is not a lot…that’s just my mom, brother, sister, and nephew), all of us having some fun in the sun at the waterpark afterwards. This was to be on the sun-day before her b-day. I still kept dreaming about having a traditional piñata + choco-flan cake + bolos at daycare on her birthday itself…

Come the day itself though, this is what really happened: it was just Ananta & I that went to the waterpark, and when we were done enjoying the kiddie pool after our dolphin swim, my sister & mom picked us up. Later we all had lunch with my nephew, and Ananta blew the candle of her sprinkle-topped cupcake at my sister’s house. (I <3 family!)

happy 3rd

blow your candle out, baby-cakes!

On the day of her birthday itself, I dressed her up in a long/princessy type dress. In school Ananta blew the #3 candle of a 3-leches cake a friend had bought her. There was also a Tinkerbell piñata and another clown one, filled with candies I would never have thought of buying myself (courtesy of a friend), while the bolos I prepared for the kids were filled with candies I chose myself. The ones for the teachers were specially made star-shaped cookies made by our Russian friend...with a note thanking them for being part of "A&a Village" (re: IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD)

the long, princessy dress

little fairies

–—*** After the piñata at daycare, I sat-in in Ananta's class activities...seeing her in action/observing the teacher + their activities. I played with the kids...sitting on the mat, being silly, letting my daughter paint my face, joking around with the other kids, versus "just watching them" until cake was finally served.

It was a blast! To see how each child is different in the way they interact and participate was an eye-opener…and of course I was proud to see that my Little One is actually one of those kids that follows instructions, and even helps her buddies after she’s done doing her part! (I guess not all have developed the necessary skills to do the activity yet, or some kids just don’t do the activity at all!J)

***

Ananta's bday #3 was a very made-up rite of passage...but it was very meaningful and important to me as I wanted to celebrate her in a way that I hope she will remember when she is older. But more than that...a celebration of 3 years of her life is, for me, is also a commemoration of 3 years of Motherhood.

So...a belated happy birthday to you, Love-Bug...and happy 3rd year of Mothering to me!

Thanks for being part of your village.J

let the Child Inside come out & play

So I am only now writing about the 10^th moon midway through the 11^th…to say I was out of it last month is a bit of an understatement. (Manifestation is still not something I am very good at…airy Sagittarius + lines on my hands + birth chart + good old laziness = lousy manifester. :S)

In the concrete world I didn’t really call anything into being…but as I look back, I somehow managed to churn up some interesting insights from my experience (interesting for me, at least).

I realize that sometimes, manifesting doesn’t necessarily mean coming up with a solid result you can see in the physical realm…sometimes it is just having an understanding of what is apparent/evident/observable. According to Word’s thesaurus, manifest (v.) = establish...so, in a sense, manifestation can be seen as a revelation of what is being demonstrated/expressed in the cycles of your life. There’s no way you can perfect (verb, as in improve/refine etc) what you do if you can’t observe yourself and point out patterns/repeated lessons that need to either be changed/improved/cultivated.

I hope this 1.) makes sense, and 2.) you find something of value here.

Happy gregorian weekend! :)

Tenth Moon: Planetary Moon of Manifestation (April 4-May 1)

Totem animal: Dog

How do I perfect what I do?

1. Refine your intentions

2. Do the things you do everyday differently – this might seem contradictory to the process of perfecting something, but I figure…you’ll never know if there is a better way to do something if you keep on doing the same damn thing everyday!

3. Go beyond visualizing with your mind’s eye & see your dreams slowly start to take place – out of nowhere, decided to enter a store I often pass by, and saw a Buddha statue that will later adorn my future altar/study table.

4. Polarize, be challenged, and accept defeat if needed…but don’t lose the lesson – wrote about this

5. Its better than ok to not do nothing – Did nothing with Ananta, on her 2.11^th … and loved every minute of it <3

6. Do what is asked of you

7. Back others up when they’re falling behind – it’s not always about you and what you have to do…other people exist too, and sometimes they need help

8. Catch up on your pendings

9. Let your hands do the healing (give a loved one a massage & write with a PEN ON PAPER) – it is through the hands that we have a means of accomplishment, molding our dreams into physical form...when we seek to accomplish in service of the Earth and all living beings, every action becomes an act of healing. (Dreamspell reflections - download it here)

10. Keep on dreamin!

11. Have a relationship with yourself – dirty-mindedness aside, touch yourself for once! :)

12. Do something outrageous – go to the circus! (Ananta’s first ever…my first as a Mom!)

13. Reflect on your outrageousness or lack thereof – wrote about this

14. Go all out! – Dance around Life and you can’t go wrong

15. Trust your instincts (never let them take your fangs away)

16. | born free, live free | – don’t live in a cage…or worse, raise your kids in one!

17. Re-occupy your body…tame those thoughts

18. Take a nap (rest is a must)

19. You were born perfect…so let the Child Inside come out & play <3 – saw Toy Story 3 for the first time, then had a playdate with Ananta and all her toys, the soonest after possible :)

20. Wake up and be grateful

21. Let go of what has been holding you back – you can’t get better if you’re always carrying the weight of what went wrong

22. Be there

23. You can fly! – yeeeeaaaars after…saw Walt Disney’s Peter Pan again!

24. Imperfect = I’m perfect

25. Rest & re-connect

26. Be ready for random – spur-of-the-moment malecon-date with Ananta…corn in a cup for dinner, yo!

27. The World IS what I think It Is – everything in your experience started out as some kind of thought…it might not be the exact same thing you imagined it to be…but it is there because you thought it so. (Its kind of like a spin on I think, therefore I am)

28. Catch up with people that matter – sushi date with T